Fatherhood, Mental Health, and Finding Purpose: A Father's Day Reflection with Tyler Chamness

Becoming a parent changes everything. For Tyler Chamness, it brought a deeper sense of purpose—and a new way to care for his mental health.

As an Account Executive here at Care Solace and a new dad to his daughter Quincy, Tyler has spent the past year navigating the joys and challenges of fatherhood while also managing his own mental health—a journey he’s open about in hopes of helping others.

“I’ve struggled with depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation for most of my life,” Tyler shares. “Before becoming a dad, I focused on my mental health so I could be the best version of myself—for me. But now, it’s not just about me anymore. It’s about showing up for my daughter. It’s about being present and creating a safe, healthy environment for her to grow up in.”

That shift—from surviving for oneself to thriving for someone else—has given Tyler a new sense of purpose. But it hasn’t been easy.

The Emotional Surprises of Fatherhood

Despite preparing himself as much as possible for parenthood, Tyler admits the emotional ride has been full of surprises.

“I wanted to be a dad. I felt ready. But I didn’t expect how much it would help my mental health. Those dark thoughts that once felt overwhelming? They’ve become easier to silence. I tell myself, ‘No, that’s selfish. You need to be here for your kid.’ I never thought fatherhood would help me in that way, but it has.”

That clarity and sense of responsibility, he says, came not from pressure, but from love.

Making Space for Mental Health

The first year of parenting can feel like a blur, and Tyler is honest about how difficult it is to carve out time for self-care.

“I haven’t been a model of self-care this year,” he admits with a laugh. “But I’ve learned that when I communicate with my wife Lindsay about what I need—whether it’s a morning surf or just quiet time—I’m better able to show up for my family.”

Tyler leans on therapy, weekly support meetings, time in nature, and exercise when possible. “Sometimes I can't do everything I need to stay grounded, but I always try to have a plan. Even if it's not today, it's something I can look forward to.”

Breaking the Cycle for the Next Generation

When asked what he hopes to teach his daughter about mental health, Tyler doesn’t hesitate.

“I want her to know that it’s okay to feel. I want her to be informed, to know how to ask for help, and to understand that therapy and mental health tools are just that—tools. My hope is that she grows up in a world where emotional honesty isn’t stigmatized but encouraged.”

That kind of environment starts at home. With both he and Lindsay being open about their mental health journeys, Tyler believes they’re creating a space where their daughter can grow up knowing she’s safe to be her full self—struggles and all.

A Message to Fathers Who Are Struggling

To other dads facing mental health challenges, Tyler offers simple but powerful advice:

“Everything goes in phases. Whatever you’re struggling with—it’s temporary. But you have to take action. If something’s not changing on its own, it’s time to take out the trash, so to speak. Go to therapy, join a support group, go for a walk. Just do something. The sooner you do, the sooner you’ll feel relief.”

And for those wondering if it’s okay to take a moment for themselves?

“It’s not just okay—it’s necessary. You can’t pour from an empty cup. By showing up for yourself, you’re actually showing up better for your family.”

 

This Father’s Day,

we honor Tyler and dads everywhere who are doing the hard work to care for their families—and themselves. Your presence matters. Your mental health matters. And asking for help is one of the bravest things you can do.